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8.17.2005

The King


Elvis Presley died 28 years ago today at Graceland Mansion in Memphis, Tennessee. Labeled "a hero to most" by poet Chuck D in 1989, he was better known as the undisputed King of Rock & Roll. In his honor, I present the top Kings of the last 28 years:

5. Bernard King
A rookie the year Elvis died, Bernard faced many of the same pitfalls Presley did. Plus he had knee problems. But he came back strong in the late 80's as a member of the Washington Bullets. As seen on HTS, he averaged 28 points per game in the '90/'91 season and made the All-Star team at age 35.

4. Burger King
While it might be #3 were it not for the Chicken Fries, Burger King makes the list powered by the most dominant breakfast menu in the fast-food game.

3. King Kong Bundy
This 450 pound mammoth made it worth staying up late to watch Saturday Night's Main Event. He missed an opportunity to become WWF Heavyweight Champion when he lost to Hulk Hogan in a Steel Cage during Wrestlemania 2. He may have jumped the shark a year later when he wrestled midgets.

2. King James
The most unbelievable NBA story over the last handful of seasons is that Lebron James lived up to and even surpassed the hype and expectations he faced when entering the league. Forget Carmelo and D-Wade last season, he was rookie-of-the-year hands down. And King James was my '05 midseason MVP, he would have given Nash and Diesel a run for their money if the Cavs season didn't go in the tank following the All-Star break.

1. Kings of Rock
I'm the King of Rock/ there is none higher/ Sucker MCs should call me sire/ To burn my kingdom/ you must use fire/ and I won't stop rockin' 'till I retire.
Run D.M.C. holds down the top spot. Jam Master Jay, Run and Darryl McDaniels formed the first hardcore rap trio. Since their 1983 debut, D.M.C. lost his voice, Jam Master Jay lost his life and Run became Reverend Run (check out his "Mind on the Road" single in iTunes).

Honorable Mention: Carole King, Stephen King, Larry King Live, King Britt, King of Prussia Mall

Worst of the Rest
  • King of the Hill: Impressive run, but who watches?
  • King Rice: UNC PG never hit the pros
  • The King Harley Race: Stop wrestling old man!
  • Don King: Daily Show rants were kooky
  • Stacy King: 6th overall pick in '89 = bust
  • King Tee: My Word Up magazine lied, he was never rap's hypest MC
  • Rodney King: It's not like he planned it, but his catch-phrase may very well be corniest ever
  • King of Beers, Budweiser: Poison!
  • King of Pop: I'm still a fan of his music, but is now better known as Wacko Jacko

Labels:


What about the Lizard King, Martin Luther King jr., BB King and the Sacremento Kings? Where do these people fall on your list? I think at least 2 of them deserve honorable mention if not in the top 5?
 
oh one more king since you seem to be on a Run DMC/ Rap thing to day. King Midas - "Jay's like King Midas, as I was told,
everything that he touched turned to gold.
He's the greatest of the great, get it straight he's great.
Claim fame cause his name is known in every state.
His name is Jay to see him play will make you say:
'God damn, that DJ made my day!'"
 
Please return to this entry and do a Ctrl+F for "last 28 years".

As for Sacramento, I'm indifferent. And I never heard of Lizard King.
 
you never heard of the Lizard King, more commonly known as Jim Morrison, lead singer for the doors?
 
King Kong Bundy is my favorite.
 
what? you don't like the chicken fries. i think they are pretty good, especially with the buffalo sauce. thing kkbundy was rated too high.
 
Very good list of Kings, and I feel that after seeing the plastic King in the Burger King commercial's he may be a little underrated.

What about Larry King? He's tolerable every once in awhile.

The Sacramento Kings suck..what have they done in the last 28 years other then choke in the playoffs?
 

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