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It Ain't My Fault

Check out this excuse for my forthcoming fantasy sufferings:

I was conflicted all night... trying to split hairs between Bryant Johnson and Justin Gage while constantly being prodded with some sort of Rohrschach Test. Still, two drafts in the books resulting in reluctant optimism.

Draft #1 was moving right along - 7 consecutive rounds where I drafted a top-18 (my rankings) player at his position. Then, I was TINWA'd! Swiping Chris Johnson then the Vikings D two picks later. Of course the legend of this draft starts with our first overall drafting commissioner, who managed to waste the prime draft spot by entering the season with Deuce McAllister as his featured running back.

But my Draft #2 homies were the craziest. LT fell to the 3-spot. Sitting in the 9, I managed a starting backfield of Addai and Lynch. What's weird though, is that despite Carson Palmer being a first round pick, Ryan Grant lasting to 34th overall and Nick Folk going in round 7, I can't say my team looks all that much better on paper than most.

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Southwest Flies Hall-of-Fame Talent

I was just reminiscing over my most recent celebrity sighting...

It was just a few weeks back when I was sitting at the Chicago Midway terminal on my way back from Kansas City (they love company!), marveling at how people in such close proximity are simulateously in a thousand different places. Then I saw him... Adrian Dantley! Eye contact followed and I was sure he knew I knew who he was - a surprisingly satisfying feeling.

Now, what if I sat next to AD? How should I play it? I can't imagine Dantley gets hounded on the regular, so he might be up for some roundball discourse. I could show off by marginalizing the talent he was traded for. After all, who wouldn't be game for trashing Tripucka? I would most def make it very clear to Adrian Dantley that I'm appalled he's not in the Hall. (I've discovered since that he would have replied: "I am.")

But then it hit me... there's no way the great Adrian Dantley is flying Southwest. And just like that, he walked off.

Fast forward to my plane entrance. As I boarded, the flight attendant pegged me as a candidate for a nice front row seat since I didn't have any carry-on. "Walk right off the plane," she said. Of course the front row seat was between one grown man and another extra-grown man... 400 lbs minimum. I took one for the team and wedged myself into "first-class."

Next I learned that I don't need a functioning left side of my body to notice ADRIAN DANTLEY boarding my plane. Ol' #4(5) shook off the flight attendant's concern over space for his bag and went right ahead and flew Southwest. Who will Dantley sit next to? What will they discuss?

Frustrated that I couldn't spit game with Adrian Dantley, I must say things got worse when normally sized man requested "tomato" to quench his thirst. Then he cycled PAST Mike Tyson's Punch-out to play Berzerk on his DS. What? There's Hall-of-Fame talent on the plane and I'm stuck between the offensive line and a V8?

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Pop Radio Freestyle

The radio's back! With my new officemate came FM 97 and all of their popular music. Such as:

"I Kissed a Girl" - 7:59 AM, 9:19 AM, 1:41 PM & 2:30 PM
"Take a Bow" - 8:12 AM, 9:34 AM, 11:13 AM & 2:01 PM
"Pocketful of Sunshine" - 8:20 AM, 10:04 AM, 11:31 AM & 2:15 PM

The box was cut at 4:00 PM, so I'm sure each hit got another run prior to rush hour. I also could've probably churned out similar data for "Leavin'," "In Love With a Girl," and that lousy, Oldies 96.1 inspired Kid Rock song.

On the flip-side, WLAN does offer a request-a-song feature on their web page (I'm your DJ now, Princey!). I marked the "Closer" checkbox the last two days and they did manage to squeeze in the Ne-Yo tune this afternoon.

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That Gas Article

I've done a great job bringing up the subject of an MPG article I read recently (small-talk enthusiasts world-wide have confirmed: gas is the new humid), but a lousy job articulating the post's contents. So here goes...

First, the line graph:

Next, the math:
15 mpg = 660 gallons per 10,000 miles
20 mpg = 500 gallons per 10,000 miles
30 mpg = 330 gallons per 10,000 miles
45 mpg = 220 gallons per 10,000 miles
60 mpg = 160 gallons per 10,000 miles
And finally, the source:



Do me a big Favrer

Ahhh yes, the Brett Favre song-and-dance has served well as NFL offseason drama. The story has really evolved into a satire of today’s sports coverage as even the worldwide leader seems to recognize that the constant analysis is silly. Most recently, the story has dinged the iron-man’s rep a bit as he’s resorted to launching insults at Packer brass. Oh I forgot, he shoots from the hip… rep remains fully intact.

But here’s the thing: I’m dead serious when I say, “Thank you Gunslinger, and please return as a Redskin.”

First, thanks for giving Ol’ #5 a year off from the ESPNapparazzi. Nothing about McNabbulous heading to the Windy City. Not a peep from Wilma. I bet you even forget the name of the guy Big Red took in round 2 last year.

Second, Washington is the perfect fit for Favre - suit him up in Burgundy and Old! The Birds were tied for last in the league in picks a season ago with 11. Coupling the addition of Asante Samuel to our secondary with the opportunity to face Favre twice a season (and assuming we can catch punts), we’d be going worst-to-first like Bob Cox and them. Could the Birds trade a player to the Pack on the Skins behalf? I got it…

Redskins get: Brett Favre
Packers get: LJ Smith
Eagles get: Complimentary National Zoo Passes

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