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11.22.2005

50 Cent Books


Perfect news... Just in time for the holidays, there seems to be a great buzz swirling around discounted reading material - books going for as little as 50 cents! What a deal!

Oh, wait... stupid headlines. Looks like a new line of "street fiction" novels launched by rapper/actor/whatever 50 Cent dubbed G-Unit Books. Seems like everyday this not very creative multi-media mogul finds new ways to tell us he likes guns:
  1. Rapper 50 Cent's debut CD "Get Rich or Die Tryin'" released in 2003; follows up with "The Massacre" in 2005
  2. Actor 50 Cent's debut movie "Get Rich or Die Tryin'" released in 2005
  3. Computer Generated 50 Cent's debut video game "Get Rich or Die Tryin'" released in 2005
  4. Book Publisher 50 Cent's debut novel set to be released in 2007... any guesses on the title?
Question: Will the books be available as "Parental Advisory" and "Clean Paragraphs" versions just like this chump's music? That way when Travis borrows "Rollin' Wit Real Bullets", he can dejectedly tell the lender "I read the Fitty book. I didn't know I was getting the Wal-Mart version."

I guess in the book world, the public library parallels music's radio airwaves. That means if you sign out a G-Unit Book, every 5th word will use a "dingbat" font. The good news is, you won't have to walk too far when buying a hip-hop novel at your local Barnes & Noble. Like the Rap CD rack at Camelot Music, they'll put the "Street Fiction" shelves closest to the cashiers.

But think about the possibilities. What if G-Unit Books looks to diversify by acquiring rights to existing publications? Good-bye Farmer's Almanac, hello Farmer's Blvd. Almanac! Instead of predicting the weather, the Farmer's Blvd. Almanac would forecast drive-bys. ("I checked the FBA today... we shouldn't go to the movies tonight. 'Get Rich Or Die Tryin'' will just have to wait.")

Personally I'm hoping the "50 Cent to Launch Hip-Hop Book Line" headline marks the point where 50's career officially jumped the shark. Maybe his next big move will be starring in a Nationwide commercial or something.

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