I know exactly how Allen Heckard feels.

It's not easy having to share your identity with famous sports stars. The double-takes as you're walking down the street. The autograph requests. Kids wanting to see if you can catch up with their heater. It's all in a days work when you look just like Jackie Brandt.

Just like Jackie, I weigh 170 lbs., bat right, throw right, and was born in April. But c'mon people, JB's 5'11", clearly an inch shorter than me!

And to think folks say I am somehow bringing on all of this attention myself. Like I'm the only guy who walks around muttering things like "When I played, we didn't care that we only got paid $100 a week... we just loved the game" while sporting a vintage '58 Giants twill cap. Purely coincidental.

Now, thanks to Mr. Heckard's courage, I'm looking you up Jackie Brandt. You figure my age and you multiply that times the number of people under 40 who heard of you and divide that by how many times you led the league in triples and then I turn around and I figure I'm suing you for $248.11.

Labels: baseball, rants