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Goin' Off

First off, the pretentious chef thing. I may have touched on it briefly in the past, but this issue really got under my skin after reading an email recently from a co-worker. In an announcement about an upcoming culinary event, references to Chef This Guy and Chef That Guy were aplenty. And to top it off, the email was signed by program director Chef Firstname Lastname. The funny thing is, when I first started working here at the Institute, the emailer was in the position of Admissions Director, known simply as Firstname Lastname.

Now I'm going to venture a guess that at least 99.5% of all people past and present know or have known how to cook food. I mean, it's so easy a caveman could do it. Therefore, I reason that doing something professionally that everyone else can do on at least some level is not worthy of a title. In other words... get over yourselves! Identifying the taste of paprika is a far cry from detecting coronary artery narrowing. And another thing... I'll take a Chick (with no pick) over Seared Tuna with Dueling Pepper Coulis everyday!

I think I'll stay in my Inbox for a second as it leads me to my next victim: an old English teacher. Let me tell you something Outlook spellchecker, I know how to spell Monta Ellis' name. He's not Monty. He's not Monte. He's Monta. The red squiggly line under his name reminded me of a paper I wrote in 8th grade about Isiah Thomas. The teacher circled the name in red and wrote "Isaiah" next to it. My '90/'91 Hoops cards must have conflicted with the Bible or something. Bottom line Mrs. Pitzer... mark-up my paper until your Sharpie runs dry, but don't question my NBA authority and expect me to forget about it (17 years later)!!

While we're talking spelling, let's jump into the dictionary. Since coming across The Situationist web site, I've found many of their posts and articles interesting. To keep things straight, I need a dictionary handy and my preference is Yo Merriam, Webster, what's up with including defined words in their definitions? In no way have you helped me make sense of "disinhibition." What more do I now know about "heuristics?" Mrs. Pitzer may not know how to attack a 2-3 zone, but she sure knows you can't use a word in its own definition! Turn off Colbert for a few nights and get to defining!!!

Speaking of obnoxious (in this case unintentionally so) on-air personalities, I had the misfortune of tuning into ESPN Radio this morning on my drive to work. Although I rarely listen, I find Mike & Mike to be likeable hosts, but it seems that even they cannot escape the sports-talk agenda. How in the world, with Spring Training right around the corner and so many fans craving their peanuts and crackerjack, can Roger Clemens' situation be such a headliner story deserving detailed analysis?!? It's a simple story that we've seen unfold before. It's older than the On-Star hotline guest delivering the insight. We don't care.

My use of parallels my use of ESPN Radio... you try to stay away for the most part, but sometimes you get confused and think it's the best option available. For instance yesterday, when I saw a line about Dennis Johnson passing away. I thought that the WWL would be a decent place to find a good ol' AP release, which was the case. Additionally, ESPN's trend-following user comments section trailed the standard article. The "conversation" for this particular piece highlighted the silly side of Web 2.0's underbelly. Many readers posted comments to the effect of "Even though I'm a huge Lakers fan, RIP DJ." First of all, I don't know what the whole typing RIP into a message board thing does, but how about the "Even though I'm a Lakers fan" themes? Just plain silly. I guess people talk because they think they have to in the virtual world too.

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This was an impressive post. Nothing better then to hear someone else go off on some of the everyday things that drive us crazy. Clemens is going to pitch..sometime in July, for the Astros, so get ready to hear about him until he finally does.

How about more of the "trade" coverage by the network? Gasol, Bibby, who else was it..oh yeah Kidd. I hope everyone is excited about Fred Jones going to the Blazers, because that's the big one. Brett if you saw the ESPN trade center yesterday where you could try potential trades with teams with salaries and such you would have gotten sick. Leave the trading to us Roto guys, and if you want to cover the Aslan Courts or Papertown Shakes I can guarantee you will have some legitimate trade stuff to talk about.
It is a little "This, That and You Said What?"-esque. Sometimes you just gotta vent. Now about that trade... hmmm... what did you have in mind?
I thought it is now "This, That and He Said What?"

That's what he said.

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