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Constitution Party

Happy Constitution Day everyone! Now playing on the Instutute's campus monitors is the U.S. Constitution in its most unthinkable format - a powerpoint slideshow chock full of bullet lists, fun facts and Pepsi Can-ized US Flag graphics. I've been bewildered by the I's fuss over this holiday, but as usual, Wiki clears things up:

The law establishing the holiday was created in 2004 with the passage of an
amendment by Senator Robert Byrd to the Omnibus spending bill of 2004. Before
this law was enacted, the holiday was known as "Citizenship Day". In addition to
renaming the holiday "Constitution Day and Citizenship Day," the act mandates
that all publicly funded educational institutions provide educational
programming on the history of the American Constitution on that day. In May
2005, the United States Department of Education announced the enactment of this law and that it would apply to any school receiving federal funds of any
Why should the kids have all the fun? Here's your Constitution Day Cookout primer:
  • First off, allow yourself plenty of travel time as traffic will no doubt be heavy. It's never polite to arrive late, or worse, pull a Rhode Island.

  • It'll come up for sure, so dig deep and allow that pesky Preamble to resurface. I'll get you started: "We the people..." ...lost yet?

  • Be ready to rule on "friendly discussions" with authority by packing a Pocket Constitution.

  • If you're doing the grilling, cut your patties thin to keep your guests from waiting too long for their burgers. After all, you're cooking beef, not framing the Constitution! (101 days)

  • Finally, party in style with your favorite Constitution Day tee. May I recommend "The Second Ammendment?"

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We the people of the United States, in order to form a
more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility,
provide for the common defense, promote the general
welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and
our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the
United States of America.

Where I went to school, we had to pass a citizenship test in order to graduate from public high school. Among things tested on were constititional questions. The first was to write the preamble (the teachers told us this before the test)... BUT we had to get it correct, word for word, punctuation mark for punctuation mark.

I can also do a pretty mean Gettysburg Address (played Abe Lincoln in an elementary school play), parts of the "I Have a Dream" speech, and an almost perfect Raven by E. A. Poe.

Poker email coming soon...

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