Agent Zero's season is over. The Wizards season is over. The Papertown Shakes season might not be far behind.

The most gracefully uncoordinated fool in the NBA crashed into Gilbert Arenas' left knee last night, tearing his miniscus. How clumsy is Gerald Wallace (dubbed "Crash" by some)? He wears shoulderpads, that's how. Now, the world's just as imbalanced as he is, without it's greatest entertainer.

Can the Shakes survive? It's been a tough week:

• Tuesday - F/C Al Jefferson ran into a teammate in practice, injuring his knee
• Tuesday- F/C LaMarcus Aldridge was deemed out indefinitely after getting dizzy on Saturday
• Wednesday - G/F Michael Redd sat out the his teams game purely for tanking purposes
• Wednesday - G Gilbert gets crashed into, torn miniscus

Labels: fantasy basketball, WashWiz

There hasn’t been a team in the String Bean Basketball 3 who hasn’t dealt with a rash of injuries. The '06/'07 edition of the Association has been riddled with torn patella tendons and bruised shoulders. But my Papertown Shakes squad is reeling right now, for the most part due to games lost by the walking wounded. The players below would give a starting crew in this month's all-star game a good run. The players below would flat out win a 12-team fantasy league. The players below are all injured Shakes.

PG Baron Davis
SG Michael Redd
SF Paul Pierce
PF Antawn Jamison
C Marcus Camby

Obviously, two of these players are grants (players who are injured every season) and I shouldn't be surprised they’re once again sporting the business casual. But Redd, Pierce and Jamison have been durable players over the years. The hope is to get 3 players back in time to hold down the league's 2^nd seed, and all 5 back to run with Gil, Dre, Marion-Lite and Shaq in the Finals.

Labels: fantasy basketball, NBA

What an enjoyable night of TV last evening! These are my top 5 highlights:

#5: Ellen's Life Goal
Strange to see a commercial get a network promo as NBC went into a break, but the new American Express ad featuring Ellen Degeneres and her life goal to work with animals was entertaining.

#4: Baron Davis in full effect
The NBC lineup had me temporarily forget about the NBA on TNT, but I remembered in time to tune in for the start of the west-coast game. I stayed awake for the first quarter, long enough to see Papertown Shakes guard Baron Davis dish out 11 assists. He was on pace to shatter a single-game record, but apparently switched gears a bit as the game continued - he finished with 36 points, 18 assists and 8 boards.

#3: 30 Rock
This show had me laughing the most last night. I like the move to Thursdays and think I will watch it regularly. Thanks to NBC for completing and marketing a "no laugh-track" Thursday night lineup. It could only be better if they picked up Everybody Hates Chris and plugged that in My Name Is Earl's (already stale) timeslot.

#2: The Office
The viewing history gives this one the edge over 30 Rock. The cast members merged to create some new funny moments, especially Dwight vs. Ed Helms (I forget his show name). But just when I thought Kevin stole the show again, he really just ended up selling out.

#1: Peace, Love and Gap
This new commercial featuring Common was great. It was visually artsy, and Common's performance was authentic... tough to do when you're rapping for a jean company. Hopefully it helps him expand his audience.

Labels: commercials, fantasy basketball, rank and file, tv

• Remember the NBA Beat with Jackie McMullen during Sportscenter in the early/mid 90's?
  
  
• Hey, I got blockquoted on Bullets Fever! I guess I should have sured up my tenses before publishing that comment.
  
  
• Should an Ejections category be added to the String Bean Basketball III fantasy league?
  
  
• Watch out for this Saturday's Wizards/Celtics tilt. There seems to be some bad blood there and Gilbert is looking to bounce back from a poor shooting night.
  
  
• Papertown Shakes' Shawn Marion Lite, Gerald Wallace, opened the season in typical Gerald Wallace fashion: little of this, little of that, left with an injury (a pretty nasty spill actually).
  
  
• My sister hooked me up with some Starbury's and I played in them for the first time last night. They treated me pretty well, but I have to say that I was a little self-conscious wearing them. Stupid Phil Knight... you won't stop the movement!

Labels: fantasy basketball, NBA

7:07 - The Shakes enter the draft room to find the Flood Gates picking first for the second straight season. I got the 4th pick and I'm targeting Kobe, but wouldn't mind taking Agent Zero.

7:10 - Safari browser doesn't seem to like certain features of this draft room. Should the Shakes struggle this season, I'll have a scapegoat!

7:30 - Leeeeeebron goes #1 overall. He'll mess around and get some triple-doubles.

7:31 - Agent Zero is on my team... Keep Shootin' Gilbert! Locker room slot machine installation is underway.

7:32 - Aslan ignores his druthers and drafts Dirk with pick 6. Settling for 25 and 9 ain't too bad.

7:33 - Switched to Explorer on the old computer. I hate to think of all the great chat I missed.

7:36 - Breed and Nutz continue to dominate the chat board with their usually incoherent banter. They might be on a PC, but they aren't PC.

7:40 - Stop Snitchin' loads up on unconventional shot-blocking by drafting AK-47 and Josh Smith back-to-back.

7:42 - Flood Gates drafts Pau Gasol. Either he is an extremely patient man, or his lack of preseason research rears its ugly grill.

7:46 - When in doubt, select a Wiz. Nice call TK.

7:47 - Nuthin' But Air takes Odom. Might have been a better play for the Shakes to take him rather than Jamison.

7:50 - Shakes pick Camby in round 6 in hopes of starting to form a shot-blocking corps. Will it pan out?

7:51 - Yuck takes Starbury in round 6. Could be the S.O.D.

7:54 - Flood Gates gets all presidential by selecting Richards Hamilton and Jefferson back to back.

7:58 - Zaza Pachulia! Zaza Pachulia!

8:04 - New Breed takes Mike James. He will be offering him to the Gates straight up for Lebron James in about 37 minutes.

8:07 - Shot-blocker #2, Samuel Dalembert is selected by the Shakes. Breed says his leg is broken, it's only a strained hammy. Got me?

8:13 - The draft is slowing down a bit as few picks have much "wow" factor. Plenty of tremendous upside potential though.

8:20 - Flood makes a Patrick Roy reference. Aslan is forced to respond. His unforced follow-up response is quite frankly surprising.

8:23 - Duck! The Breed takes Stephen Jackson in the last round. There's a 7-way tie in the "who will be the guy to take SJ" pool.

8:24 - My last pick is Kendrick Perkins. I feel like I accomplished what I set out to do: Build some scoring strength; draft guard-heavy to give myself a chance in 3's, assists and steals; draft multi-positional players to gain an advantage in games per week; and develop a shot-blocking corps. Unfortunately many of my picks are very injury prone. We'll see how things Shake out.

8:26 - The draft ends in a whirlwind. The Courts claim of D-Miles should pay dividends. Flood says his team is average. And I've just been offered my first Mummert-deal!

Round-by-round Best Picks:

1. 7 - Dwayne Wade, Nothing But Air: I had him ranked #5 overall.
2. 2 - Allen Iverson, Nothing But Air: Without FG% stats, he's a monster in our league.
3. 2 - Carmelo Anthony, New Breed: 8th in PPG last year, can only get better in supporting categories.
4. 3 - Yao Ming, Aslan Courts: Nice spot to get a C who can score, rebound and block shots.
5. 3 - Jason Kidd, The Yuck: He'll score some and should finish #2 in the league in assists an outrebound any point guard in the league.
6. 6: Stephon Marbury, The Yuck: I'm of the thinking that the Kincks have a great chance to turn things around a little bit this year. If so, Marbury will be the catalyst. (Francis went undrafted!?!)
7. 4: Andre Miller, Papertown Shakes: #6 in assists last season and not much guard depth in Denver pushing him to the pine.
8. 1: Zaza Pachulia, Stop Snitchin': Great name, face of the franchise. Tough round... not very excited about any of the picks.
9. 5: Jason Terry, Deez Nutz: A consistent player who will give you what you expect, 15 points, 5 assists and a steal or 2.
10. 3: Troy Murphy, Aslan Courts: Nellie wants to run in Golden State and Murphy is slated to play C. Could approach 20 a game.
11. 7: Larry Hughes, Nothing But Air: Was a fantasy monster before last season. If healthy, he can fill up most categories.
12. 8: David West, Flood Gates: Breakout player last season, should continue to rack up 15 and 10s.
13. 6: Darius Miles, Aslan Courts: Not sure what's different between him and my 8th round pick Gerald Wallace. Blocked shots from a G is rare.

Labels: fantasy basketball, tape-delayed blog

Just to let you fantasy players know that BSnyde30's keeping tabs...

Ed Peabody
That does look like a mixture of old Kochansky/new Kochansky... too bad your old high school hoops game didn't translate into your new fantasy hoops game.

HitmenMCB
Real nostalgic player card Bender... does the 6% hoops lead I'm holding over you look any better in sepia tone?

ExJay13
Ordinary player card, ordinary hockey team.

TFloodGo
Can you believe Flood came off the fence a grand total of 6 times in the past? 53% Overall Performance makes TFloodSo-So. Dude, just stay on the fence.

Apphex8
Your teams are as non-descript as your player card. Under 40% in anything involving a lineup.

F14Flyer
More gray people... Until the Backyard Ballers do something in the Keystone Ball and Stick, DoubleBatterWiffleSack trophies are Skunk Awards to me.

Trout 8_5
Dog Kauffman - you do not look like that! Quantity does not equal quality.

IM_Kramer007
32% in baseball leagues? Since your the father of constant name-changes, how about a new Yahoo! ID? UR_Jeltz1985.

Notes about Yahoo! leagues:

• I've got serious work to do on my football score. I hate their default scoring system, and I always seem to miss the drafts, but 58% is not satisfactory. Maybe Whitey's 12 team, 2 defense league will help me start to turn the tide.
  
  
• Also, Merrifield's Triples saved me even more embarassment in that SusCom Bombers league. Of course Triples was a category.
  
  
• Maybe the greatest Yahoo! league of all was that testy String Bean Basketball II league. Back-alley deals, knucklehead posts, Shakes/Splits. Plus some of the best fantasy team names: Majestic Mapp (how's Scientific doing these days?), Tiny Archibaldings, Tired Pool Boys. Oh yeah, and it was the last time I won a league.

Labels: fantasy basketball, fantasy football

December 19th: MNF stands for Monday Night Favre as the gunslinger's 3 win Packers square off against the 4 win Ravens. So thrilling that I actually watched a series or two, which was enough action to see Favre throw a few hail-mary's. It's amazing that he actually used to be pretty good.

December 21st: Gilbert Arenas scores 36 points on 14 of 27 shooting to lead the Wiz past the Nuggets. The Wizards are currently the 8th ranked team in the Eastern Conference and are not quite playing as well as they played last season. Big reason? 27 shots is not enough for Gil Arenas... keep shootin' Gilbert!

December 22nd: From the mouth of the Ultrasound technician... "If you promise not to paint your room pink, it looks like a 70/30 chance it's a girl." Fair enough. A gray room it is.

December 23rd: Nice! An early Christmas gift! The Papertown Fribble acquired Tracy McGrady and Joel Pryzbilla from Upper Echelon for Baron Davis and Emeka Okafor. I know, it sounds like Echelon got the gift, but the Fribble needed a shake-up!

December 24th: Good to see the George W. Bush Christmas photo was replaced by Olivia's Happy Hannukah craft at the Miller's.


December 25th: Christmas morning with MJ... good times. And how about that iHome? An alarm clock with a sleep mode that plays music from an iPod means no more John Tesh Radio Show!

December 26th: Team Jacoby/Snyder thrive down the stretch of "Think A Little During Christmas" and edge Team Dietrich/Kayla by 1 point. Clutch work on the Singers and Songs Jumble.

December 27th: The return of junkmail... it is amazing to me that I still only get 12 CD's for the price of one. In 1989, I got 8 tapes for the price of one. Considering the boom in digital music over the last 3 years or so, I would have bet the penny that you tape to the reply card that you could get at least 25 CD's for the price of one by now.

December 28th: On her way home from work, just as she's about to turn into the driveway, my wife decides to shine her high-beams in the direction of an oncoming police car. The officer figures he'd investigate and gets out of his car as my wife stops in the driveway. A brief exchange of "can I help you with anything ma'am" followed by "I'm sorry, I meant to turn on my turn signal" and the policeman left. The problem? MJ was driving with a headlight out. The cop either didn't notice or thought it was no big deal. Nice work, Ace.

Labels: fantasy basketball, holidays, Mallory, nfl, WashWiz